This is my opinion on the No-Kids-Allowed controversy. I’m a bit out-spoken in this area and not afraid to drop the P.C. act and just spill it like I see it. (Okay, I’m a little scared I might get screamed at for what I’m about to write… but I can deal with it.)
Some friends and I have been having some long discussions regarding the following article:
No Kids Allowed Movement Growing
As a soon-to-be mama, you’d think I’d be appalled at people judging where I can or cannot take my kids.
I’m not, not in the slightest bit. I’d prefer it wasn’t a “ban”, but use other alternatives, and here’s just a couple reasons why:
- I have forked out $60+ for dinner with my husband, only to have it ruined by a screaming child sitting next to us in a dining establishment.
- I have gone home to find macaroni and cheese in my hair from some kid flinging it.
- I have sat miserably through NON-KIDS movies that we forked out $50 for between tickets and snacks, only to miss huge chunks due to wailing babies. (and a couple friends just went through this themselves with a lady who took her 3 day-old baby to Rise of the Planet of the Apes), and they had a babysitter to watch their 1 year old to let them have a special night out together, only to have it ruined by a screamer.
- I have gone shopping, and left with a headache due to a child pitching fits in the aisles.
- I have watched a child running loose in a restaurant fall and split her lip open and chip her front teeth on a tile floor, her parents completely unaware she’d run off because they thought she was “playing” under the table.
That’s just a few examples, I’ve seen more over the years but those come to mind.
Parents are upset over this because they feel that DINKS (Dual Income No Kids), and retired couples, young couples without kids, etc. are banning their choices over where to eat, what time to go to movies, etc. etc. They feel it is unfair and that this is “America” afterall.
Truth be told, the No-Kids-Allowed movement has become a movement because it is, in fact, a seriously growing problem.
It is the fault of parents who refuse to be parents and guide their children towards acceptable behaviors in a public setting.
See, I can’t walk up to you in a restaurant anymore and say “Look, your screaming child that just threw mac-n-cheese in my hair, that you’re deliberately ignoring in hopes she/he will stop, is bugging the crap out of about 100 people, please take him/her outside till she calms down”.
It’s not PC and it’s a good way to start a larger more adult argument right inside the restaurant, causing even more discomfort to the other patrons.
Instead, we glare at the parents with bitter hate in hopes they’ll pick up on it and fix the problem. Nope, they just sit there, ignoring their screaming child, oblivious to everyone around them.
I think there are better solutions than a No-Kid Ban but to bring about an awareness of the issue, something had to be done.
My favorite solution thus so far would be for a separation within the restaurants.
We need to have “Family Friendly” dining on one side, and No-Kids on the other. Restaurants are still divided for the most part into two sections, as they were for years, for Smoking vs Non-Smoking. UTILIZE IT!!!! (My husband brought this up, I’m not sure if he heard it from somewhere or not but I think it’s brilliant).
A screaming child room would be awesome, but bathrooms or outside will suffice for now.
Another practice would be awareness of it which is actually why I’m posting on it to begin with. We need to re-institute some parenting “etiquette”, and that starts by bringing it to people’s attention. Just bringing it to people’s attention might help make them realize there’s a problem.
Now: As a very soon-to-be mom, I’m taking a vow of my own.
- I acknowledge that to get a kid ready for public settings, you have to introduce them to it.
I will choose family-friendly restaurants that are age-appropriate and keep a close eye for annoyance levels of others and be accommodating to them, not myself. I will also apologize on the way past them, let them know I’m on it, and maybe just maybe set an example for others. (hopefully)
- I will not take my child to upscale or “more adult” type restaurants. If they don’t have a kids menu and crayons, no sense going. Denny’s, here I come.
- If my child starts to cry or pitch a fit or whatever, I will take them either outside or to a bathroom until I can calm them down, away from everyone, no matter how kid-friendly the restaurant is.
- I will teach my kids proper public-setting behavior. I will not let my child run loose, throw food, or screech in loud decibels. If they are too young to understand/comprehend an inside voice, they do not go. Period. It’s called “Hire a Babysitter”
- Movies- Oh boy, movies… (This is actually what kicked off the whole discussion.).
NO BABIES IN THEATERS. PERIOD!!!!People taking newborns into theaters has got to be the most self-absorbed disgusting behavior I have ever seen apart from completely ignoring your child’s screeching temper-tantrum in a public setting. Movies are expensive, they are for entertainment, and you have no right to ruin everyone’s night out because you wanted to get out of the house but felt stuck because you have a newborn wailing child.If your baby is too young for a babysitter, this is a good indication that your ass should be at home,until they are old enough to be watched. It’s hardly a sacrifice to miss a movie or two during that first year until their old enough to be babysat (on occasion) for a parents night out.Rent it on DVD when it comes out or go with a friend while your husband stays home and gives you a break (or vice-versa).
- Kids under 5 don’t need to go to a movie in my opinion. (I’m tempted to say 6, but I recall certain excitement about movies when I was around 5 but then again, I had a mom who taught us public behavior too).Until they’re old enough to know how to behave, understand expectations (and consequences of not behaving), how not kick the chairs in front of them and stay in their seats, they don’t go. It’s a waste of money, not enjoyable for other people let alone yourself because you have to miss half the movie quieting them yourself.
So there.. that’s my rant for the most part.. there’s more but this post is getting kinda long. So if you’re reading this, and find yourself surprised that other people even are considering a ban and find this shocking, chances are you might be getting glared at yourself…. Sorry!!!
When I picture the 1940′s-1950′s era, I picture neighbors and families gathered together, enjoying life as a community, everyone knew each other and everyone helps out during times of need.
You just don’t see that very much anymore!
I’ve lived on the east side of the valley for 5 years, all my friends are over on the west side and I rarely get to see them. I don’t know my neighbors (well, I know one of them but I haven’t had a chance to say hi to her IN A YEAR), and she lives right across the street! Sheesh! Haven’t even had a chance to wave at her.
We are such a separated society and that really needs to change!
A couple months ago, I joined this mom’s group, and despite not having a child to tote around in my arms yet cuz she’s still cooking, these ladies adopted me right into the group. I met this group through an online resource called www.meetup.com, I think I just did a search for my city and mom’s group to find them. There were 2 local mom’s groups. One I knew I would NOT fit into, the other one I had pretty good vibes about. Trust your instinct!
For being a shut-in hermit, it took stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out. I’m ever so grateful I stuck my foot out the door, cuz I met a really amazing group of ladies.
It’s not just about meeting up for play-dates. It’s about sharing, it’s about working together to help each other out. Even the Girl’s Night Out serves the awesome function of just relieving stress. In times of need, it’s about being there for each other. It’s about sisterhood.
We need to gather more in our communities. We need to turn off the TV (especially the news!), and get outside. It’s not just for moms groups, there are tons of groups based on interest to join out there, and the more you grow your community family, the stronger you and that community become.
Sometimes it feels like I just announced I was pregnant 2 weeks ago.. and sometimes it feels like 2 years ago. But, sometime within the next 2 weeks, my little girl will be here, in my arms, finally!
I keep standing in front of her crib, looking down and patting the quilt smooth, picturing her lying there asleep. It makes me want to cry, and puts the biggest smile on my face. Almost there baby, almost there.
My doctors won’t let me go past 39 weeks due to some complications, so I know that unless she comes on her own a little early, I am looking at around the 8th of September for her ETA.
I still seem to have a list of things that need to be done but 99.9999% of it’s ready to go, and the other minute fraction is stuff that can wait or a few sewing projects to work on while I’m home-bound these last 2 weeks and bored out of my head.
My poor husband has his work cut-out for him though! He’s gotta handle the heavy stuff.
Ray’s still working on the dresser right now, and our friend Tristan is coming out this weekend to help him with that. The old stain on it is probably older than both of us, and has been extremely stubborn in coming off. The drawer fronts are done, but the dresser itself needs to be completed and then stained.
I hope that gets done this weekend cuz I am seriously out of room for stuff right now, I need the drawer space!
We need a bookcase too, not only for the cute and adorable books my family and friends have gotten Lilly, but extra basket storage. The baskets are helping with storage but I need to organize them a little better and label ‘em.
Oh, and I need a big pink or light green rug to cover the paint splatters that happened during painting the room!
On a final note, I really look forward to getting this little girl off of my bladder. OW
Every year, we have a little issue with our air conditioner. And every time, we gripe about it like we don’t expect it to happen even though it notoriously will break down. I was at dinner with friends when Ray texted me to tell me the AC had gone back out and it wasn’t a simple “pop the circuit” problem or over-icing. CRAP!!!
My first gut reaction was to see if I needed to go to walmart and buy a window AC unit. I almost forgot about “Swampy.”
“Swampy” is my old beast of a Swamp Cooler. It’s gotta be around circa 1980, and sometimes I wonder if it’s not more like a late 70′s unit…. Not sure, all I know is it might be beat to sh**, but is there in case of emergency.
UGLY, ISN’T IT?!!!
On the way home from dinner, I remembered that we have the old beast and wondered if we could get it up and running quickly enough till I could locate our ac guy.
Luckily I worked on Swampy all last summer to get him up and running due to our frequent AC outages. I had replaced the filters last year with quick cleanable filters (just a quick hose-down is all it takes), I replaced the floater valve, the water line, oil the bearings (well, that part I had Ray do cuz I wasn’t sure where to put the oil), scrubbed the base (which was filthy again last night) cleaned the internal inlet, etc. etc. etc.
So it only took Ray and I about 10 minutes to hook up the water hose, spray it out the best we could and let the Beast loose. Unfortunately, in those 10 minutes, I got nailed with fire-ants and mosquitoes on my ankles and spent the better part of the night trying to sleep in a now humid house, scratching at my ankles which felt like they were on fire. Yeah, no sleep for the preggo chick.
Swampy is now at least effectively cooling down the living room and my front room, (kinda). I opened up other windows this morning and I’m trying to see how effective it is at pulling through the entire house, not just the front rooms. We’ll see.
It’s definitely cooler, but my body does not know what to do with humidity anymore. I’ve apparently adapted to Arizona too much and lost my “Iowa” roots. I have to admit it’s pretty sad. When I was growing up, my mom had AC but a lot of my friends didn’t. We used to just use a fan and be completely fine with it, even on 100+ degree days. I am apparently now a WUSS.
So I called our AC guru Mr. Fixit Marcus out. He’s the only AC tech I trust because he does not replace units. It’s his job to fix them, and 90% of the time he usually can fix the problem, unless the compressor is just completely dead. At that point, if he can’t fix it, he tells me up-front and it would be off to an actual AC replacement company to have it fully replaced. It’s in his best interest (and pocketbook) to fix it if it can be done. He’s my first stop when something goes wrong, cuz if he can’t fix it, it means we’re truly screwed.
Swamp coolers are not very effective this time of the year, (They start to lose effectiveness about 30% humidity and we’re at 34%, instead of cooling into the 70′s, it’s supposed to only cool to around 83′ish degrees) but it still does manage to cool things a bit and it’s at least air-movement and enough to keep the animals in a comfortable enough environment till Marcus gets here.
I’m very much hoping he can fix whatever the problem is, since it at least at the surface only appears to be the inside fan blower motor quit. Being 8 months pregnant with no A/C would be a really really bad thing.
I’ve got about 4 weeks left before Lilly arrives. Last weekend my friends threw me a surprise baby shower, it was so wonderful to see everyone and they did such a fabulous job with the decorating and everything. It was so sweet and soooo much stuff for Lilly! They went completely out of their way for me and I’m still smiling.
So now it’s onto the final preparations. I’ve got 4 weeks left to finish the nursery and finish shopping for the little things. Thanks to my family and friends, Lilly’s pretty much set for just about everything….
and then I remembered I (may) need rubber pants…..
These things bring back memories of all my old baby pictures
I don’t know if her snap-style cloth diapers are going to fit her when she’s first born, so as a precaution, my mom and mother-in-law both picked me up prefold cloth diapers. (You know, the old style, used with safety-pins and then covered with a water-proof vinyl cover that makes your baby’s butt look poofy!)
I was looking around for the covers and while I love the cute options they have for prefolds, (really super cute!) they’re expensive. (ranging from $7-16.00 per cover!)
This is more for people who will continue to use prefolds with the wraps, instead of the stuffed pocket diapers like I have…
I didn’t want to add another $50-60.00 in covers I’d only use for a month or two… and I finally found straight up old-style rubber pants for $2.99 per 3 pack on diapers.com.
I ordered a couple packs of those and two 8 packs of safety pins… and then I decided I might as well pick up some other necessities (baby powder, milk storage bags, nursing pads, etc. etc.) so I could just get free shipping, figured it was stuff I needed anyway.
So that’s just more off my check-list. I’m glad I still have stuff to do and prep or these last 4 weeks would kill me from anticipation!
I know my blog hasn’t had much about the chickens or ranch life lately, I do apologize. Ray’s been handling all the ranch work since, well, sometimes it feels like I’m just worn out walking to the bathroom, let alone hoofing it to the field. I need to go out this week early in the morning before it gets hot and spend some time with the chicks and pet my poor horses. He’s been taking excellent care of them in my absence, and I look very much forward to spending outdoor time with them after I give birth, Lilly slung in a moby wrap, snuggled close.
GAH! FOUR MORE WEEKS!!!!